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Becky Blades, Author of Do Your Laundry or You’ll Die Alone, and contributor to Huffington Post, Oprah.com, Scary Mommy, and Grown & Flown.
What advice did your mother or mother figure give you that you think all women should hear?
I revel in the creative process and love to help others do the same. With my books, art and presentations, I share the power of stARTisty®.
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My mother always said “If you don’t have time to do it right, you sure don’t have time to do it over.” I didn’t truly understand what she meant until I got my first job.
My mother was a very positive person and was always very supportive of me. She thought I could do anything I wanted and kept reinforcing that to me the whole time I was growing up. When I did accomplish something, her response was, “I knew you could do it.” It always felt good to have that unconditional support.
If you are married (and this advise works for anyone you love and know well-so long as they have never shown abusive tendencies) when your spouse is at their ugliest is when you need to be your kindest. Someone is ugly because they feel attacked, or not listened to, and your kindness at this crucial point in time reminds your spouse that you are on their team, and you are there for them. It the the shortest road to stopping the ugliness, and to building a strong relationship.
I was about 10 years old, touring in a church choir. One very kind woman asked how I was feeling, and I said I wanted to go to the bathroom but there wasn’t time. That’s when she said the words that I still live by today, “Dear, there’s always time to go to the bathroom.” In other words, take care of yourself no matter what crazy schedule or busy life plans you’re caught up in.
My mom was always trying to help me carve out time for myself when I was a young adult mother. Probably because she realized later in life that she should have done that for herself. Now that my children are nearly adults, I finally get it. Her advice taught me that its okay to take a time out for myself.
My mother (and father…they’ve been married 55 years, and almost always worked together with advice) repeated this so often it’s still the mantra running through my head: pretty is as pretty does…essentially, being outwardly beautiful means nothing if you don’t have a giving, cheerful, kind attitude. Conversely, having that spirit of kindness can make one even more beautiful.
My mom taught me so many things, most of them I didn’t care about until I was an adult. One timeless lesson, “Shoes don’t stretch and men don’t change.”
My mother taught me to alway wear clean underwear and make sure my shoes matched.
The clean underwear was necessary because you never knew when you might get hit by a car and your underwear might show.
The shoes were very important because when people can’t look you in the eye, they will always notice your shoes.
There you have it. My mother was a very wise and funny woman. I did love her.
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My mother’s advise was to get a good education and always be able to support myself.
My mother figure always tells me to be safe and to take care of myself. She always tries to keep me out of trouble, she is my most favourite person in the world (:
My mother has been deceased since 1985 and I sure wish I had paid attention to her never ending advice. I am sure it was all good advice!
My mom died at 89 after a few years of serious, terrible dementia. But she taught me to never give up. She got her GED when she was 65! She taught herself Braille when she became blind at about 70. She took care of my baby sister alone when my Dad died at 55; she was 46, I was 18, my sister was 5. She never quit!
Being from south (7 generations) My mother always said, “Be nice to their face, we can talk about them later”.